2016-12-31

2016...

Intitially there was this picture on Twitter that got seven favs, so I thought I'd pick seven good things for this year in review... this had to be easy, if you take everything bad out of 2016, there can't be much left to write about? As if! Some things that seemed good to me at first I already questioned while having a closer look at it. Some things were rather based on hope than solid facts, uncertain. Or they had their beginning earlier, therefore wouldn't be representative for 2016! 
Then I found 5 equal important good things, I couldn't find two more equally important things, also I have no idea who made the image, so to prevent copyright issues and being able to publish this article finally - here are five good things of 2016:

#1 Friendship is magic. Yes it is. Some darker moments in 2016 would have been so much harder without them. Some others would not have been the same fun. For decades I had no idea I'd ever even be able to find and also, keep friends. Being socially awkward and experiencing othering as a personal standard, therefore a norm, made me wary and assume true, mutual friendship is something fictional. Or something other people have, but not me, no, never. 
Well, I'm happy to found out I was wrong. There are not many people I'd call friends, others rather acquaintances, but those are very important to me. I asked myself while writing this if I should really name people here, as there are for example, people I talk to on Twitter I really like lots, but feel are not close enough (yet), so it might be inappropriate to name them here.
There were several people that helped me and believed in me. Even though I never met all of them in person - you are great. I am not sure if all of them wants to be named (I might edit the article later and add some more names after I got the chance to ask those ones if it's okay!).
There are three human beeings that are that dear to me though, I wouldn't even have to ask, whom I could always talk to about everything and who understand everything to stand out. 
Tris -  My twin soul, weirdo, awesome guy. As far away as we are living from each other, through episodes of depression, doubt or distraction. We still never lost contact completely, there were breaks and blanks. But we always came back to talking to each other again at some point, even after months of me being offline in the first half of 2016, you weren't judgy, because you can take my dark as well as the light. For being there, always... Thank you.
Frank - we didn't meet first in 2016, still everything became different this year. Can't say exactly when. Since and after the Bundesparteitag in Wolfenbüttel, it certainly developed to a friendship. You are a person I can trust completely. And I dont trust easily or often. You share the same humour and values. You can see the light even when everything seems dark. Thank you.
Christine - as recent as this is, because we only know each other for a few months now - there seemed never to be any question about us becoming friends from day one. Still I wonder why it went that easy and maybe you wearing a WHOvian shirt, us sharing lots of fandoms helped a little bit at first, but it's going much further than just nerd stuff. We'd talk about anything and completely understand each other. The same taste and point of view in so many things, similar experiences are why we get on so good. Thank you.

#2 The second important thing is, I learned lots, very helpful was discovering my way of Somebody Else's Problem field, or SEP, Not feeling responsible for other people all the time I get involved  with, wherever, learning to don't mind THAT much. You don't need everyone's acceptance or understanding. That is quite impossible and also unneccessary. Freeing yourself from other's expectations makes your life much better and endurable. Staying focused.

#3 Acceptance. To accept things I can not change immediately; worry less (because this only drains you out of energy), instead working on making progress in manageable steps. Being patient is not easy for me, it won't be, ever. I still try though, because sometimes you have to be.

#4 Keeping distance to people that are harmful. That was maybe the hardest task to learn. Some people treated me badly. Often there was not the chance to communicate this properly early enough. Then I realised at some point there was no progress to expect. So shutting people out wasn't easy, but the only option left. I am not evil if I say no to people that are acting disrepectful. It's selfcare and selfrespect.

#5 Finding hope, therefore bravery again. Yes, many things that happened in 2016 were bad. Still, there's no sense in giving up. I'm still breathing, am still there, lived trough enough hardships, what for? Defiance. So I still have hope for humanity. Making the world a better place is hard work. It is still worth a try.